How Do Ya Work This Here Thermo-Meter Thingy?

In light of my recent decision to fill you in on all things (well, most things) conception-related, I just feel like this is important to share.

Under no circumstances should you ever come to the conclusion that a reading on your basal thermometer of 96.2 degrees (F) means that you are in the early stages of hypothermia, or that you are approaching death itself.

Or that all of the remaining eggs in your 30-something fallopian tubes have now frozen to death, because your core body temperature is 'way too low' to sustain human life. In the midst of lying in bed, under your comforter.

It probably just means that you don't know how to use the damn thing.

It probably just means that you should have read the instructions.

And, it probably just means that you should have waited for the beeps.

So, just let the damn thing beep.

And, stop being so impatient.

Just sayin'.