Have I ever told you how hard running is for me? Well, in case I haven't, I just wanted you to know...
Running is hard for me.
Not the mental "get out there and run" part; that is the easiest component for me.
The physical aspect of running is so challenging for me that sometimes I wonder if my body was even built to move any faster than 4 miles per hour. I am just not built for this sport.
I'm fairly short and thick. My calves are the diameter of a 3 year old's waist.
I've had asthma since I was in elementary school, and I refuse to use steroidal inhalers because they geek me out.
And I'm dense. Very, very dense.
Fast twitch muscles? Pffffttt...WHAT fast twitch muscles?
While I was slogging along with my friend, James on Sunday's long run (10 miles), I said the following (strictly paraphrased, because who can really remember what they said 2 days ago while suffering from heat stroke and asthmatic delirium?):
"James, I'm sorry I'm so useless today. I've decided that I'm just really not built for running."
"You know...I'm built more for dead-lifting, or wrestling. Yeah...I'd be an awesome wrestler."
He replied that he was built for ceramic-making or competitive pizza eating. Or something like that. But, it was a long run, and I'm probably mixing up the details and timeline of our conversation.
The point is that on Sunday, I came to a strong realization between asthma attacks.
I am never going to be any better than I am today.
Oh, sure. I might get a little faster on my short runs, or I might get better at certain aspects of my runs (hills, tempo, endurance). But I am never going to really be any faster, and I don't think that running is ever going to get any easier.
On one hand, this upsets me. Everyone wants to get better at something that they spend so much time and energy doing. I don't really like sucking at running.
On the other hand, I can't honestly say that I'd even continue running if it were easy. I never take the easy way out.
"Easy" bores me.
I failed math the entire way through school, and now I'm an accountant. Somehow I took the one thing that I sucked the worst at, and made a career out of it. And, I don't suck at it.
I don't know why I do that. I think I must like the torture.
Or the challenge.
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