Thursday Morning Confession

Confessions
There's no better way to put this than by just coming out and telling you...

I'M HAVING A FLOCKING PITY PARTY, OK?!

IT'S NOT FAIR

IT'S NOT FAIR

IT'S NOT FAIR

(insert foot stomping here)

You guys...why on earth does nothing go properly in my world of sweat and fitness and racing? It all started last year when my IT band started acting like a b!tch, and thwarted all hopes of me completing the marathon without injury. From that point it was just one thing after another. The finale was my wogging marathon, followed by 3 weeks of bursitis.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

After the marathon/bursitis party, I decided to refocus my attention. I spent 3 months doing weight training and cross training so that I could build my muscles back to where they were before I started all of this running business. I was feeling awesome, so I signed up for a triathlon even though I couldn't swim.

My training was going surprisingly well...no crises to speak of...until Sunday when my bike broke.

photo

Now...despite the fact that having a bike is kind of imperative to triathlon training and completing the race, I haven't been too worried about it. Little Blue Betty is only supposed to be in the bike hospital for a week, and I decided to supplement with a couple of cycling classes at the gym this week in her absence. It wasn't a huge deal.

NOT FAIR, but still not a huge problem.

In the absence of Blue Betty, I planned to focus on doing a long(er) run this week, which was scheduled for bright and early this morning. Unfortunately, as I was going to bed on Tuesday night, the nagging feeling that something was stuck in my eye made me realize that something was just not right. I slept fitfully on Tuesday night, and I woke up Wednesday morning unable to look to either side without having an uncomfortable feeling in my eye.

I made an appointment and went to the eye doctor yesterday morning. Apparently, I scratched my FLOCKING eyeball at some point between swimming and going to bed on Tuesday night.

SERIOUSLY?!

I have to sidebar this conversation with the disclosure that my vision is REALLY bad. As in...didn't wear glasses in public for about 10 years because I couldn't find a place that could make the lenses thin enough to satisfy my vanity. I am very disoriented without my glasses or contacts, and I actually get nauseous (car-sick-like) when I'm free-eyeballin (not to mention the fact that I can't see $h!t). In fact, wearing glasses alone makes me car-sicky because the field of vision is so much farther away than with wearing contacts. The "blind spots" to the sides, and the constant feeling of motion when I move my big head make me feel all yuck.

So the eye doctor said I should be all healed in about a week, which I was very relieved by. My triathlon is on Sunday, June 27th...and at least this debacle wouldn't interfere with my triathlon, right?! Right?!

WRONG.

Doctor give ointment.ointment make eye blurry.blurry running no good.

Doctor say 'no contacts'.Glasses big.don't fit right.fall off when run.

No glasses no work.i fall when run.i hurt.i no do triathlon.

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!

I'm going to cycling class tonight instead. Hopefully by this weekend when I want to do my brick, I'll be able to put my contacts in. In the meantime, I'm just going to have a pity party for a moment.

WHY?! (Nancy Kerrigan style)

You guys...I know this is not the end of the world, and in my heart I know that this is not a big deal. I understand that it could be MUCH worse. I'm alive. I have my vision. I'm going to do the triathlon, and I'm going to be slow as molasses...and that's nothing new for me. The thing is that I'm just sick of having the cards always stacked against me. Last night (in full-on pity party mode), I started wondering if maybe I need to stop blaming the universe on all of these things.

I know that it's not my FAULT that I was injured last year, or that my bike broke last weekend, or that my eyeball is broken now. However, is there some truth to the power of positive energy and positive thinking? Maybe I'm setting myself up for failure from the start? I just thought that everything was going so well this time because I haven't had any injury issues...and now I hit a roadblock of a different sort.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

OK. Pity party over.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

siggy