I Weighed Myself, and It Wasn't all Sunshine and Butterflies


A few weeks ago, in the evening of the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I weighed myself.

My intentions were true, I promise! I intended to weigh my baby, who doesn't weigh enough yet to register on our digital scale. I planned to weigh myself, weigh both of us, then subtract the difference.

Now, I can't even remember what the baby weighed. I stopped focusing when I realized that the scale read six pounds heavier than it has for the past 12 years (in a non-pregnant or post-partum state). My husband was standing there to witness the whole ordeal.

👨🏿"Babe, what's wrong?"

🤷‍♀️: "I weigh six pounds more than normal!"

👨🏿: "OK."

🤷‍♀️: "I haven't weighed this much since I was pregnant, or bulimic and binge-eating!"

👨🏿: "OK...well it's 8:30 at night, 2 days after Thanksgiving, and you're wearing like 2 layers of clothes right now."

🤷‍♀️: "I gained six pounds..."

Then came my brain: "you're a FRAUD. How can you preach about weight stability without restricting or obsessing over food...when you're not even weight stable?!" I wanted to go on a diet. 

The next morning, I weighed myself in my underwear. I was within 1 pound of what I thought that I "should" weigh. I didn't **really** gain six pounds, you guys.

Then, I was so pissed at myself. I thought I had personally evolved beyond this, but no matter how long I've been practicing body positivity, not weighing myself, valuing what I can DO rather than how I look...I am not immune to the triggering effect of a scale that doesn't tell me what I expect it to say! 

I've realized that being triggered by this event was DIRECTLY related to outside forces that have nothing at all to do with my body or my weight. I've been ignoring my own basic needs because of typical life stressors.

THIS is the thing to remember when we start to feel like counting calories, dieting, and obsessing about our weight is the only way to happiness. The process of counting calories and the act of being on a diet is sometimes just a distraction from what we really need to focus on (THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS).

Leave a comment & tell me what you're WORRYING or OBSESSING about and RELEASING RIGHT NOW!

Print Friendly and PDF